Ask a Tough Guy: The Loch Ness Hockey League
|Which would be more incredible: finding the Loch Ness Monster, or a problem that Brandon Bollig can't solve?|
The following feature appears in the March 2013 issue of Blackhawks Magazine, available at this Friday's game vs. Columbus. Pick up the newest issue of the magazine at the next Blackhawks home game, or by calling the Blackhawks Store at (800) GO-HAWKS.
Brandon Bollig might be quick to throw up his dukes to solve problems on the ice, but away from the rink he's a mountain of knowlege, dishing out two-fisted brilliance. Fans submitted their most pressing questions for Bollig via the website, and he weighed in with his advice.
To submit your question for our next "Ask a Tough Guy" feature, click here.
Would you rather play for St. Louis on a line with Brett Hull and Adam Oates during the 1990-91 season for one game, or be a 26-year-old Brad Pitt for a day?
— Kristie Kinzig, Roselle, Ill.
I would rather play with Hull and Oates for a game, for a few reasons. 1. I'm from St. Louis, so even though they’re the Blackhawks’ rivals, it wouldn't be too bad. 2. I don't see myself playing on anything but the fourth line for a long time, so playing with superstars like that would be pretty cool. Plus, I grew up watching them. 3. I like to think I'm better looking than Brad Pitt, so that's no big thing. (At least my mom says so.)
It's the year 2857, and hockey is now played while riding on the sea animal of each player's choice. What sea animal would you choose, and what would its name be?
— Jenn Schaefer, Merillville, Ind.
The Loch Ness Monster, for sure. Because seriously, who would mess with "Nessie"? Except I'd change its name from "Nessie" to "Fin-Nessie" since clearly I'm all finesse. Right?!
What do you think about WWBBD?
— Claire Pardo, Portage, Ind.
It's pretty funny. If only you guys knew what I'd do in certain situations. I can't reveal my secrets. I'm just glad it doesn't stand for "What Would Bryan Bickell Do?"
I play for the Chicago Blues in the CSDHL, and we play really big guys. I don't know what to do. Should I hit them, deke them, or what?
— Michael Bijos, Chicago
Well, Michael, I would hit them. But that's just me. Big tree falls hard, right?
If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
— Brandon M. Wells, Belvidere, Ill.
Potato chips are my weakness, so I'd go with those. Plus, there are a bunch of different flavors, so I'd be all set.
I recently started playing rugby, but I'm kind of small. What would you suggest I do to be intimidating?
— Sarah, Orland Park, Ill.
Grow a sweet beard. It works for me.
If you had a choice to fight the great Bob Probert or Stu "Grim Reaper" Grimson, which one would it be and why?
— Jeremy Schultz, Statesboro, Ga.
Both would be pretty sweet to add to my resume. I honestly don't know who I'd choose though, since I'd be a punching bag to either of them.
Were you a tough guy in high school?
— Patti P., Naperville, Ill.
Only on the ice. I'm an angel off the ice, of course.